Mean Girls

If I asked you to name three physical qualities that you liked about yourself, think you could do it?  How about even one?  I was asked this question not too long ago by my therapist, and I surprised myself when I couldn't even think of one trait that I liked about myself physically.  There are hundreds of parts that make up the human body and when it came time to name one, just ONE, my mind went blank.    However, if the question was flipped and she asked me to name qualities I DON'T like about myself, I would have no problem coming up with five without even blinking.  My legs are too big, my toes are too long, my stomach isn't flat enough, and don't even get me started on boobs and butt. It's crazy to think how much easier it was for me to trash myself rather than praise the healthy body I was blessed with?  Pay attention to the key word I used in that sentence...healthy.  I chose not to use terms such as skinny or fat because that kind of black and white thinking is what got me here in the first place.  Plus, if I really think about it, given everything I have put my body through, I am lucky to be as healthy as I am.  I have bigger legs because they are muscular from running so much. My stomach will never be completely flat again because I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy, and my toes....well who really looks at toes anyways.  What I am trying to get at, is that there is nothing wrong with the way I look.  I am neither skinny nor fat.... I am however an individual.  No one person is made the same way, so why out of the billions of people on this planet they decided for us to choose between being skinny or fat is beyond me!
 Another point I want to mention is the fact that in our society it is much more acceptable to criticize rather than compliment ourselves.  People are able to relate better when your trashing yourself because they will always have something to add about their own flaws.  However, if there was a person praising their body, we would all consider them to be cocky. It's insane! Think back to the movie "Mean Girls;" there is a scene where three of the girls are looking in the mirror, and physically they looked great, yet they were tearing themselves apart. Then there was another girl in the room, Cady, she was the new girl and had not grown up in our culture.  She admits to thinking people were either fat or skinny, but quickly learns that is not the case.  Anyways, each girl goes around and says one trait they don't like and then they  turn to Cady to name something she doesn't like about herself. However, in her case she couldn't think of anything, except bad breath in the morning.  How AWESOME is that?!  I wish that was the mindset I had about myself.  Bad breath is not even a physical flaw...everyone has stank breath in the morning, so good for Cady!  We could all take something from this scene, and that is we need to stop tearing ourselves down because we think it's what we're supposed to do!
They say it takes 21 days to create a habit, so my challenge for you is to think of three things you like about yourself. Next, say those qualities out loud, everyday, for the next 21 days.  If that's seems like a daunting task, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, think about three parts of your body that you are thankful for and say that instead.  I will admit it feels awkward at first, but if you keep at it, it will become a routine for you in no time. Everyday I tell myself I love how my hair looks, I love my eyes, and I love my stomach.  Okay maybe I don't "love" my stomach, but I am thankful to have carried and delivered such a healthy baby, so I'm sticking with that.  If I can come up with three I know you can too!